Websites: Uni Lad

Don’t you just love banter? Sitting with your friends, throwing witticisms back and forth, wiling away the evening away with good chat and droll lines? Try this one. You know the Keep Calm catchphrase that everyone’s loves riffing on? How about ‘Keep Calm, This Won’t Take Long’. Gettit? It’s funny cos he’s raping her. But it’s ok, because it won’t take long. And even more importantly, it’s banter.

Loaded, the original banterous men’s magazine, has just lost 30% of its readers. They haven’t grown up, they’re haven’t decided to buy the Economist instead. They’ve just moved online. Where once Loaded, Maxim, Nuts and Zoo had the market cornered on catering to hilarious neanderthals, now there are the internet charms of Top Lad, True Lad and – until recently – Uni Lad.

Poor Uni Lad. Some people just can’t take a joke. That Keep Calm slogan was funny. You could even buy it as a t-shirt on the website, so you could advertise just how subversively witty you were. But Uni Lad was so much more than just a forum for well-crafted one-liners. It also provided a valuable advice service for its student audience, guiding them through the everyday dilemmas of young adult life. For example:

“If the girl you’ve taken for a drink… won’t ‘spread for your head’, just think about this mathematical statistic: 85% of rape cases go unreported. That seems to be fairly good odds”.

Before you start overacting, kicking up some hysterical fuss about this being the terrifying mentality that lies at the rotten heart of lad culture, let me explain. This was all meant in good humour. I missed out the ironic footnote that was included: “Uni Lad does not condone rape without saying ‘surprise’”. See? Clearly banter. Sorry if you got confused there.

Of course some people will argue that there’s a pretty close correlation between the popularity of violently misogynistic jokes and actual sexual violence. There was even a study carried out two months ago by Middlesex University, which showed that sexual comments made in lads’ magazines were almost indistinguishable from quotes taken from convicted rapists.

Alison Saunders, the head of the Crown Prosecution Services, has just accused the media of contributing to the shockingly low rate of rape convictions, arguing that the drunk-girl-short-dress-her-fault mentality still powerfully influences how a jury responds to a case. She wants to encourage girls to come forward and to convince them that a reported rape “is not something you will be vilified for”. She wants “jurors, when they come to cases, [to] come with a genuinely open mind, without any preconceptions.”

It’s an aspiration that seems about as likely as Uni Lad recommending that it’s members go out and buy Caitlin Moran’s How To Be A Woman. Which is a shame, because a stereotype-busting, sexually frank and genuinely witty feminist text would be the perfect antidote to the pernicious and depressing effects of laddism.

Imagine if it happened – if every user who clicked on to a lad site or bought a sexually derogatory magazine was automatically posted (and subsequently read) a copy of Moran’s book. It wouldn’t just be the thousands of girls subsequently saved from a Uni Lad ‘surprise’ who’d be grateful. The lads would be too.

Because while there are a few truly revolting people out there, the vast majority are just young men caught up in one of the most dominant subcultures of our society. It’s aggressive, small-minded and patronising to both sexes. Growing up with the message that the best way you can be a man is to demean and abuse a woman is just as unpleasant for boys as it is harmful for girls.

Sadly, that doesn’t mean it’s about change. Uni Lad – briefly shamed into closing down after its pro-rape comments – will be back online in a few weeks time. Thanks to the internet, the cult of lad banter is stronger than ever. Keep calm. This will probably take a long time.

The Harker provides a platform for young (unpaid) writing talent.